No Child Left Behind Sports

A friend posted this to facebook. Thought it was cute. It also so the ignorance about education by the people who wrote NCLB Act

No Child Left Behind: The Sports Version

Fill with your favorite sport (original used football)

1. All teams must make the state playoffs, and all will win the championship by the year 2014. If a team does not win the championship, they will be on probation until they are the champions, and coaches will be held accountable.

2. All kids will be expected to have the same skills at the same time and in the same conditions. No exceptions will be made for interest in , a desire to perform athletically, or genetic abilities or disabilities. ALL KIDS WILL PLAY AT A PROFICIENT LEVEL.

3. Talented players will be asked to work out on their own without instruction. This is because the coaches will be using all their instructional time with the athletes who aren’t interested in , have limited athletic ability or whose parents don't like .

4. Games will be played year round, but statistics will only be kept in the 4th., 8th and 11th games.

5. This will create a New Age of sports where every school is expected to have the same level of talent and all teams will reach the same minimal goals. If no child gets ahead, then no child will be left behind.